It's been so long....
Autumn always had a weird influence on me.
It's bittersweet in a sense...
I thought by this time I'd find myself.
But I think at some point I just gave up and stopped trying.
This ocean is so scary yet so calm...
I wish I could stay alone with my own thoughts for a few weeks.
All the noise around is so distracting.
I need to zoom out. But for some reason I just keep zooming in even when I intend to zoom out. It just doesn't work right.
I think it's the longest I've been trapped here... I am trapped and that's what drives me mad.
I need to get out here just to feel the appreciation of my privilege position. Somehow I cannot do so from within, not now anyway.
I need to zoom out. That's why I need to get out. I need to get out to be able to zoom out. That's it.
I'm so consumed in myself that I forgot how to zoom out.
I need, need, NEED to go back to the routine of seeing most of my friends couple times a month, sometimes a week.
I've been deeply depressed since pretty much the start of this year but I didn't want to recognize the fact.
And now here we are.